Syls Amusements

We resumed getting some shots of Dwemeri Gladiator Armor for Men by RefurbMadness.

Alfgar said that he was going to take off the other pauldron if that was okay. He said they would work great in combat against something like a giant or a dragon or a really big orc, but they weren’t really all that necessary for clearing out a ruin.

Alfgar?

What happened to your cuisses? Specifically, the right one.

Oh, that. He said it was making his knee play up. He put it in the bag.

Alfgar told me to calm down.

The Centurion wasn’t much of a threat after he ripped out its Dynamo Core, and we weren’t stuck in that cage trap for more than a couple of hours.

He said the gauntlets came in handy, but he might have damaged one while trying to get the release button for the trap unstuck.

I assured him that no one would be angry. This is why we have a costuming budget.

Still pretty warm in here, isn’t it?

Alfgar just looked at me.

He said he knows where this is going.

He said he’d play along.

He asked very nicely if he could take off the gauntlets, the cloth kilt and the remaining stocking. He did NOT ask about the chest plate. He did ask if we were going to argue with the result.

Oh, and this is Nicco. Nicco’s pretty old. Alfgar said he’ll just sleep by the fire, won’t bother anybody. He’s got to get his fish oil supplement four times a day now, so it’s not too much trouble to have him here, is it?

I suppose not. Say hi, Nicco.

Since Alfgar had taken off the chest plate, I asked if he wouldn’t mind taking some pictures with the alternate chest piece. And I found a replacement pauldron.

He was agreeable.

Could we go someplace a bit cooler?

I should have noticed the glint in his eye, or the innocent way that he asked the question. Almost like… Marcus.

He took off and we ran after him, only to find him with Lady Dibella. Oh, dear.

Alfgar wants to know, do we like his tits.

Because as we all know, there’s only ONE REASON TO MAKE MODDED ARMOR.

Do we like them better than Lady Dibella’s tits?

Alfgar assures us that this new chestpiece both lifts AND supports.

He said he is also a fan of the cross-your-heart styling. Do these straps adjust for evening gowns?

I warned him. Marcus can get away with this stuff. It’s funny and cute when Marcus does it. Not so cute when you’re a big hairy 50 year old man. And really, where is he getting this. Ladies’ magazines from forty years ago?

Alfgar just leered at me.

Marcus is a bad influence.

Alfgar said this has nothing to do with Marcus. Alfgar said that there is no possible way we can have a modded armor photoshoot without a discussion of ti–  He has seen PLENTY of these things and there is always– no. No. Alfgar, it is not mandated, it is just-

Can we just move on?

 

After this we went back to where we’d left the equipment.

It’s SO hot in here.

I told him to get that stupid grin off his face.

Playing along means he needs to keep that vapid expression in place, too.

Alfgar whines like Marcus, too.  He said he’d give us something else to look at.

Okay!

I think it’s time we take another break.

 

 

 

 

Ahtar–  Had to go up to Winterhold to take care of some business.

Cyrelian– stared at me. Through me. He does not like the camera. Also, the Aldmeri Dominion apparently has a dress code even for their senior officers. I expressed doubt, having never heard of this before. He went and found the appropriate chapter in the regulatory code. Far be it from me to get him in any more trouble. I understand the Thalmor demerit system is somewhat inflexible.

Marcus–  when we took the last photoshoot we spent the entire per diem to persuade that Haafingar guard to let Marcus off with just a warning for public indecency. Nobody got to eat lunch.

The orc– just laughed immoderately when I said that this one involved heavy armor. He told me to go find his cousin Gorag. Gorag likes heavy armor. Gorag has six teeth. So, no.

Dar’mazhan–  kind of a free spirit. Couldn’t find him.

Alfgar– was agreeable, but said that he was booked up solid for the next couple of months,  with excavations and artifact-hunting.

He frowned. Had they run out of women on the Internet?

I explained.

He says he doesn’t get it, but he does understand that sometimes people can be dicks and he knows all about mod pages being crapped on by trolls.

I explained that we only needed to get shots of one set of armor, really–  Dwemeri Gladiator Armor for Men by RefurbMadness.

Could we come down and take some shots at his workplace?

Alfgar said that sounded reasonable.

Could we pick up some lunch?

Alfgar said that the armor fits pretty good. I was worried about all the straps, but he said he didn’t mind them. He DID mind the hip guards, though– said he couldn’t squeeze through some of these passageways with them.  Said he had too much junk in the trunk.

I expressed surprise at how warm it was in here. Alfgar laughed. He said that Dwemer ruins are just full of surprises.

Apparently the Dwemeri missed having a sun, so they crafted one, and put it in here.

Alfgar would like to apologize for what happened to the right pauldron. He said it got caught somehow in a rock crevasse and got stuck. He had to pull the strap loose. It was leave it behind or fall to his doom.

See, he said, this is why he likes straps. Particularly straps he can unfasten with one hand, quickly.

Alfgar thought it was a fine time for a break.

Sounds good.

We’ll be back in a bit.